Feelin' Sentimental

I'm listening to Frank Sinatra and feeling really sentimental.

Those five defining moments:

1- I fell asleep in Chandler's bed. He was playing video games and didn't want to take me home, so John did it. He carried me out of the bed, up the stairs, to the car. I fell asleep on his shoulder listening to Sigur Ros and woke up to his hand on my face. He would've carried me inside if I had asked.

2- Driving around downtown Provo. My hand was in between the seat and the door and John reached from behind me and slipped his fingers in with mine. Chandler was driving. I played DJ that night and picked all the songs I wanted him to hear. I looked out the window and just let him watch me sing.

3- Living with Megan, waiting for Chandler to come over. I was watching Almost Famous and John came over. He smelled like bubble gum and cigars. We sat on her living room floor til 1 in the morning with our feet together talking about everything. First time he told me I was beautiful. Chandler never showed up.

4- My dad left at 11 pm to take care of an emergency at work. Chandler went home to go to bed and I was scared home alone. John came over and sat with me all night. I rested my head on his chest and we talked about what we did when we were little. When he left he told me he loved me.

5- Chandler and I had just broken up. John called to see if he could come over after work and talk to me about what happened, to see if I needed anything. I laid in his lap and knew that this is exactly what I wanted and where I wanted to be. I had gone through 6 months of being lied to, cheated on, ditched, and ignored to end up here. Sitting on my couch, talking about why I wasn't sad, and he kissed me. Our first kiss, and it was innocent.

I guess the more I look at the Chandler situation what I did was worse than cheat on him, I was completely in love with someone else. He was the one that kissed other girls, that got drunk and lied to me about it, and I just.. fell fast and hard. For someone else. We all meet people for a reason. My reason for dating Chandler? Probably to meet John. I wouldn't trade any of this for the world. None of it.