just another manic monday

Today at work I was all alone, as all the new girls are being moved up into the Master's program and are going through orientation. With nothing to do all day at the spa, I started and finished a beautiful little book Megan loaned to me called "Stargirl". Megan said something about it when she gave it to me that I completely agree with having read it; "I wish I had read this in high school. I would have felt so much better about myself."

I pride myself on being well-read, and never in my 18 years have I read such a powerful little story about staying true to oneself. As I watched the cars buzz by, as I listened to the construction workers pound into the walls next door, as I heard sirens wail to the scene of an accident, and as the telephone rang every half hour, I couldn't help but think what a beautiful word we live in and how happy I am to be a part of it. I also couldn't help but hope that I grew to become someone that stuck in people's memory... their good memories. I want to make a difference, for the better.



Mother's day was especially hard for me this year because I haven't talked to my own mom in probably months. My heart is a little broken for my family as we make the final transition from torn apart to completely broken. It's easy to feel glum about it, but the more I ponder it, the more I realize how grateful I am for all my experiences. I would not change a thing about my sisters or my parents. I am happy I've led the life I have. I have dealt with a lot of painful things within the past few months and I feel like I have a chance at coming out on top. I feel at peace with where I'm at in my life for the most part, and the motivation to change what I don't feel so great about.
John sent me a little note of love last night that helped so much. He said, "Babe... it will get better I promise. You can't let other's decisions effect your life's outcome... you can't help what your parents choose to do.. I hope you know that I love you and as soon as you move forward with your life, it will get a lot better."


After I read that I had what my favorite high school English teacher calls "Aha! moments", moments where something you were looking at one way hits you in a completely different way. It was so simple what he said, and thinking back on it I want to smack my forehead. Duh, Kiersten! It's so easy! It's so simple. Life is what you make it, and you can't dwell on the mistakes of other's that have hurt you. What a blessing his level head is in my life, that he has the ability to pull me away from the situation, and re-evaluate my thoughts.

Needless to say, I'm grateful for all the people in my life that protect and support me. I love all of you so much, and you all touch me in ways you can't even imagine. Thank you.